Dialects and Accents in HP

Dialect is a tricky thing in fanfiction, and it is not rare to come accross those who shy away from writing specific characters because of the way they speak*. Sometimes, when they do try to write said characters, they mess their speech patterns up so horribly that one (i.e., me) cannot read their stories without getting an involutary twitch in one's (i.e., my) left eye. Which is a pity, as many of these fics would be very decent otherwise.

Now. I love Viktor. I love Fleur. I adore Stan Shunpike. I think Hagrid is a good fellow. I... respect Madame Maxime. The elves have been steadily growing on me. And these extremely interesting characters are quite often tragically neglected in fanfiction because of their accents/dialects**! Well, not so much the elves, no, although I've never seen a story with an elf as its main character. Oh, wait, I wrote one for snoopypez's Trousers Challenge... but that, erm, does not count.

Ahem. Anyway, as I was saying, whenever one of the above characters do appear in fanfiction, they run a very, VERY high risk of having their lovely speech patterns butchered. As I don't really expect anyone to be as anal-retentive over this as I am, I have decided to give you all a shortcut to understanding how J.K. makes these characters speak with a few simple steps.

Therefore, I now present you:

Rubeus Hagrid

Hagrid is not too hard. :) We've seen a lot of him, after all. I believe you will be safe with the Basic Rules of Rubeus' Grammar, which are as follows:

• Any T or G or D that come after an N are completely unnecessary. That way, we have:
  haven't = haven'
  anything = anythin'
  nothing = nuthin'
  and = an'
  And so on, so forth.
  NOTE: That is unless the omittance causes you to misunderstand his meaning, like in can x can'. In such a case, JK will probably go with can't.



• In most one-syllable words, Os (and, similarly, OUs) become Es. That way, we have:
  to = ter
  you = yeh
  your = yer
  for = fer
  And so on, so forth.



• OFs, 'VEs and etc. become A, as in:
  must've = musta
  out of = outta
  And so on, so forth.</i>
  NOTE: The same does not hold for triple contractions, as in he'd've or wouldn't've. Hagrid says them exactly this way, with 'VEs and Ts and everything. Erm, at least in P/SS.
  
  
• In long words, sometimes he'll "swallow" some vowels, uncluding, but not limited to the E between T and R:
  mystery = myst'ry
  interested = int'rested
  every = ev'ry
  suppose = s'pose
  So on, so forth...
  
  
• Other random peculiarities:
  been = bin
  of course = 'course
  my = me
  them = 'em
  of = o'
  about = abou'
  just = jus'
  more than = more'n
  nothing = nuthin'
  something = summat
  And I've obviously not caught them all, but I was actually kidding when I called this a comprehensive guide, you know.

Some examples to give you a feel of it: (Emphasis mine - well, obviously)

"Nah - can't spell it. All right - Voldemort." Hagrid shuddered. "Don' make me say it again. Anyway, this - this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin' fer followers. Got 'em, too - some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o' his power, 'cause he was gettin' himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn't know who ter trust, didn't dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches... terrible things happened. He was takin' over. 'Course, some stood up to him - an' he killed them. Horribly. (...)" (SS - pages 54/55, American Edition)

Do compare this to:

"We chanced a bit o' magic after that an' it wasn' a bad journey. Ran inter a couple o' mad trolls on the Polish border an' I had a sligh' disagreement with a vampire in a pub in Minsk, bu' apart from tha' couldn't'a bin smoother.
"An' then we reached the place, an' we started trekkin' up through the mountains, lookin' fer signs of 'em...
"We had ter lay off the magic once we got near 'em. Partly 'cause they don' like wizards an' we didn' want ter put their backs up too soon, an' partly 'cause Dumbledore had warned us You-Know-Who was bound ter be after the giants an' all. Said it was odds on he'd sent a messenger off ter them already. Told us ter be very careful of drawin' attention ter ourselves as we got nearer in case there was Death Eaters around." (OotP - page 377, UK Edition)


Considerations: As you can see, in later books (I'm not sure about CoS, I can't seem to find my copy in English) he started using more contractions than he seems to use in P/SS, like abou', jus', didn' and etc, etc. It seems like JK thought he wasn't incomprehensible enough the first time around. ;P

It is worth noting: Once in a while Hagrid says one or another of these words correctly. He's inconstant like that. So you don't have to be TOO paranoid that you let something slip. :P But be aware that it only happens once in a purple moon with yellow dots.

'But what if I'd given Harry to him, eh?(...)' ( PoA - page 224, UK Edition.)

Exclamations and Mannerisms: Hagrid uses a fine, colorful myriad of different exclamations, including, but not limited to "Merlin's beard!", "Galloping Gorgons!", "Gulping Gargoyles!" and a hole lotta "Blimey"s. He also seems to like to use eh a lot.

Golden Rule: When in doubt, write in regular English.

---

Now, in contrast with Hagrid's, Stan's speaking style is HARD AS ALL HELL to pick up. At least to me. If you don't think so, congratulations, and let me read your fic. :)

Good news is, he appears much less, and therefore his section can REALLY (almost) be called comprehensive. Anyway, Grammar's Finest Points According to Stan:

• He knows not of the sound of H:
  he = 'e
  Hogwarts = 'Ogwarts
  Harry = 'Arry
  hand = 'and
  who = 'oo
  And so on, so forth.



• Any T or G or D that come after an N are completely unnecessary:
  doing = doin'
  don't = don'
  going = goin'
  and = an'
  Well, you catch my drift.


(interesting to note that an' = and, and 'and = hand :P)


• When TH is supposed to sound somewhat like an F, it shall become an F:
  nothing = nuffink
  toothbrush = toofbrush
  thing = fing
  anything = anifink
  thirteen = firteen
  ... yeah, you got it.



• If an often-used construction can be shortened to something that sounds very silly, it will be:
  what are you = 'Choo
  didn't you = dincha
  isn't it = inee
  what is = woss
  didn't it = dinnit
  did you = didja



• Why say it all when you can omit extra wording?
  I have seen = I seen
  are you out of = you outta
  as long as = long's
  where have you been = where you been
  And etc.



• Other random peculiarities:
  with = wiv
  them = 'em
  just = jus'
  because = 'cos
  didn't = di'n't
  was = woz



• He makes most of the well-known basic mistakes of grammar, like:
  double (sometimes triple!) negatives
  "they was" (well, he does it once)
  You know... the usual.
  

Some examples to give you a feel of it: (Emphasis mine - well, obviously)

"Yeah," said Stan, still rubbing his chest. "Yeah, that's right. Very close to You-Know-'Oo, they say... anyway, when little 'Arry Potter put paid to You-Know-'Oo, all of You-Know-'Oo's supporters was tracked down, wasn't they, Ern? Most of 'em knew it was all over, wiv You-Know-'Oo gone, and they came quiet. But not Sirius Black. I 'eard he thought 'e'd be second-in-command once You-Know-'Oo 'ad taken over.

"Anyway, they cornered Black in the middle of a street full of Muggles an' Black took out 'is wand and 'e blasted 'alf the street apart, an' a wizard got it, an' so did a dozen Muggles what got in the way. 'Orrible, eh? An' you know what Black did then?" Stan continued in a dramatic whisper.

"What?" said Harry.

"Laughed," said Stan. "Jus' stood there and laughed. An' when reinforcements from the Ministry of Magic got there, 'e went wiv 'em quiet as anifink, still laughing 'is 'ead off. 'Cos 'e's mad, inee, Ern? Inee mad?" (PoA - pages 47/48, UK Edition)

And...

"Just outside Birminghan," said Stan happily, answering Harry's unasked question as Ron struggled up from the floor. "You keepin' well, then, 'Arry? I seen your name in the paper loads over the summer, but it weren't never nuffink very nice. I said to Ern, I said, 'e didn't seem like a nutter when we met 'im, just goes to show, dunnit?" (OotP - page 464, UK Edition)


Considerations: He speaks perfectly when he's being professional:

"Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transportation for the stranded witch or wizard. Just stick out your wand hand, step on board and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Stan Shunpike, and I will be your conductor this eve-" (PoA - pages 41/42, UK Edition)

It is worth noting: He likes to... reinforce what he says a lot, as in , "Never notice nuffink, they don'.", and he's always ending his statement with questions like, "dincha?", "inne?", and, really, too many examples to count. The questions are, most of the time, directed at Ernie, the Knight Bus driver, who Stan, by the way, only calls Ern.

Exclamations and Mannerisms: He only ever uses "Blimey" as an exclamation, when Harry calls Voldemort by name. He seems to use "Eh" even more frequently than Hagrid.

Golden Rule: When in doubt, write in regular English.

---

The French accent is quite easy to do, if you keep Les Rules du Accent Français in mind. These Rules would be:

• They know not of the sound of H, so:
  Hogwarts = 'Ogwarts
  he = 'e
  Harry = 'Arry
  who = 'oo
  Do I really need to say "so on, so forth"?



• TH becomes Z when followed by a vowel:
  this = zis
  that = zat
  thing = zing
  the = ze
  Yeah, etc.
  NOTE: Followed by a VOWEL. "Throw", "through", "throne"... they'll be all written exactly like that.



• In the words where the letter I sounds somewhat like EE, it's sometimes substituted for it:
  simply = seemply
  Christmas = Chreestmas
  mister = meester
  And etc.
  NOTE: This particular rule is VERY inconstant. Both Olympe and Fleur are FREQUENTLY saying their Is correctly. It could be explained by it being a sound they've already learned and that is sometimes "kidnapped" by ze accent, when zey get deestracted. :P



• OTHER = UZZER
  another = anuzzer
  grandmother = grandmuzzer
  each other = each uzzer
  Got it?



• Once in a while, they'll exchange ER/ERE for AIR:
  there = zair (but Fleur says zere, too)
  very = vairy
  entered = entaired
  never = nevair
  Yadda, yadda.
  NOTE: Used VERY infrequently, too.
  
  
• Uzzer random peculiarities:
  Madame Maxime calls Dumbledore Dumbly-Dorr, and although Fleur never says his name, it's reasonable to suppose that so does she.
  

Some examples to give you a feel of it: (Emphasis mine - well, obviously)

"'Ow dare you!" shrieked Madame Maxime. Her voice exploded. (...). "I 'ave nevair been more insulted in my life! 'Alf-giant? Moi? I 'ave - I 'ave big bones!" (GoF - pages 428/429, American Edition)

"Zis is nothing," she [Fleur] said dismissively, looking around at the sparkling walls of the Great Hall. "At ze Palace of Beauxbatons, we 'ave ice sculptures all around ze dining chamber at Chreestmas. Zey do not melt, of course... zey are like 'uge statues of diamond, glittering around ze place. And ze food is seemply suberb. And we 'ave choirs of wood nymphs, 'oo serenade us as we eat. We 'ave none of zis ugly armor in ze 'alls, and eef a poltergeist ever entaired into Beauxbatons, 'e would be expelled like zat." She slapped her hand onto the table impatiently. (GoF - page 418, American Edition)

Considerations: They use evident and evidently a lot, when they could say clearly, obviously and etc. I'd guess that is because of the French word évidemment, which is very commonly used. They speak with a certain... weird formality, not using contractions, and using some less used constructions once in a while. That means that they're foreigners. Keep that in mind. :) By the way, for foreigners, they have amazing fluency and never stumble over their words or seem to forget any vocabulary. So keep that in mind, too.

It is worth noting: Fleur has got a job in the UK to "eemprove 'er Eeenglish", to quote Fred and George. It is safe to assume that in stories taking place at the end of Harry's fifth year or later, her accent will have diminished a little.

Exclamations and Mannerisms: Madame Maxime slips into French in the middle of her English in two occasions: when she learns that Hogwarts has two champions ("C'est impossible") and when Hagrid says that she must be a half-giant ("'Alf-giant? Moi?"). Both times of stress. Fleur never does it, not even once, not even when she's freakling out over Gabrielle. That doesn't mean she CAN'T do it, but my job is to let you know of canon facts. :P

Golden Rule: When in doubt, write in regular English.

---

Viktor Krum's accent is so easy to copy that it's laughable. There is NO excuse to get him wrong, really. There isn't. There is only ONE rule in Viktor's Crummy Guide, and it is:

• V-Fest!! (W=V)
  well = vell
  we = ve
  winter = vinter
  Sooo on.
  NOTE: Words like wrong and wrap, with silent Ws, aren't changed.


Ah, fine, I lied, there is one more:


• The A, in a few (FEW!) words, are closed to an O:
  what = vot
  was = vos
  want = vont (but vant is used right after it)
  And those are, honestly, all the examples.
  
  This last one down here is not a rule, exatly, it's just the:
  
  
• Other random peculiarities:
  have = haff
  Hermione = Herm-own-ninny or Hermy-own-ninny

An example to give you a feel of it: (Emphasis mine - well, obviously)

"Vell, ve have a castle also, not as big as this, nor as comfortable, I am thinking," he was telling Hermione. "Ve have just four floors, and the fires are lit only for magical purposes. But ve have grounds larger even than these- though in vinter, ve have very little daylight, so ve are not enjoying them. But in summer ve are flying every day, over the lakes and the mountains..." (GoF - page 417, American Edition)</i>

Considerations: What I said about Madame Maxime's and Fleur's lack of contractions, unusual constructions... still holds for Viktor. Because, you see, he's a foreigner too. :P And what I said about the fluency and the huge vocabulary holds, too.

It is worth noting: I'm sure he can spell "Hermione".

Exclamations and Mannerisms: He barely talks, so I wasn't really able to pick those up. Sorry!

Golden Rule: When in doubt, write in regular English.

---

I've debated whether to include the elves, because they don't really pronounce anything differently (unless you count Weasley/Wheezy), but I'll try to write at least a little about the structure of their dialogue...



Winky's constructions are a mess. The not-so-simple Rules of Winky's Wonky Talk are as follow:

• Verbs are ALWAYS conjugated in the third person:
  I is
  You is
  He/She/It is
  We is
  You is
  They is
  And so on, so forth.



• Verbs that are in the past are conjugated in the present continuous:
  when you set him free = when you is setting him free
  I have been looking after the Crouches all my life = I is looking after the Crouches all my life
  what would they say = what is they saying
  And etcetera.



• Sometimes she refers to herself as I, and sometimes she refers to herself as Winky. She's inconstant like that.

Some examples to get you a feel of it: (Emphasis mine - well, obviously)

"House-elves is not supposed to have fun, Harry Potter," said Winky firmly, from behind her hands. "House-elves does what they is told. I is not liking heights at all, Harry Potter" - she glanced toward the edge of the box and gulped - "but my master sends me to the Top Box and I comes, sir." (GoF - pages 98/99, American edition)

"Oh you is a bad elf, Dobby!" moaned Winky, tears leaking down her face once more. "My poor Mr. Crouch, what is he doing without Winky? He is needing me, he is needing my help! I is looking after the Crouches all my life, and my mother is doing it before me, and my grandmother is doing it before her... oh what is they saying if they knew Winky was freed? Oh the shame, the shame!" (GoF - page 381, American edition)

Considerations: Have I mentioned that Winky's constructions are a mess? Basically, she uses the simple present and the present continuous. She uses the simple past very sporadically, usually in place of the past perfect or simple perfect. I'd recommend that you read chapters eight (The Quidditch Cup) and twenty-one (House-Elf Liberation Front) of GoF to get you a feel of the way she talks, because I wouldn't be trusting myself with that one. It's not easy to explain.

It is worth noting: That Winky's constructions are a mess. :P

Exclamations and Mannerisms: She uses vocatives an AWFUL lot. Sir, miss, Master Barty... As in every sentence.

Golden Rule: When in doubt, write in regular English (but in the third person!).

---

Dobby is a relief, after you've tried to sort Winky out.

• He knows aaaall about the tenses, that is, his verbs in the past are in the past, his presents are in the present and his futures in the future. Conditional clauses are great too!



• He, unlike Winky, never uses "I" or "you". He refers to himself strictly in the third person, and to the person/people he's talking to stricly in the third person. However, he uses my and your.



• He only conjugates his verbs in the third person:
  Dobby has
  [Person he's talking to] has
  He/She/It has
  We has
  [People he's talking to] has
  They has

Some examples to get you a feel of it: (Emphasis mine - well, obviously)

'Winky is still drinking lots, sir,' he said sadly, his enormous round green eyes, large as tennis balls, downcast. 'She still does not care for clothes, Harry Potter. Nor do the other house-elves. None of them will clean Gryffindor Tower any more, not with the hats and socks hidden everywhere, they finds them insulting, sir. Dobby does it all himself, sir, but Dobby does not mind, sir, for he always hopes to meet Harry Potter and tonight, sir, he has got his wish!' Dobby sank into a deep bow again. 'But Harry Potter does not seem happy,' Dobby went on, straightening up again and looking timidly at Harry. 'Dobby heard him muttering in his sleep. Was Harry Potter having bad dreams?' (OotP - page 342, UK Edition)

Considerations: Erm, not sure of what I have to add. We've heard a lot of Dobby, too, I actually haven't ever seen Dobby's speech pattern too badly messed up. :)

Golden Rule: When in doubt, write in regular English (but in third person!).

---

Kreacher is a delight to write! He has perfect grammar! Three cheers for Kreacher!

• He never uses "I" or "you" either, though. He refers to himself strictly in the third person, and to the person/people he's talking to stricly in the third person. However, he uses my and your.

Some examples to get you a feel of it: (Emphasis mine - well, obviously)

"Kreacher said nothing," said the elf, with a second bow to George, adding in a clear undertone, "and there's its twin, unnatural little beasts they are."
(...)
"... and there's the Mudblood, standing there bold as brass, oh, if my mistress knew, oh, how she'd cry, and there's a new boy, Kreacher doesn't know his name. What is he doing here? Kreacher doesn't know..." (OotP - page 101, UK Edition)

Golden Rule: Write in regular English, period. :)

Phew. And that's it. Now you have no more excuses, see? :P And by the way, do keep in mind that when you are in doubt, you should write in regular English.



* I am well aware that this is not the only reason, but let me be dramatic. ;P
** Generalizations are the soul of all overreaction. Erm, I'm not sure what that means, exactly, but let's pretend it's something profound.

EDIT: Oh-my-god-I-forgot-about-Mundungus! Damn it. I'll take care of it (yawn) tomorrow.